This piece was previously published for International Women's Day in 2018 by Finsiterre through my connection with Easky Britton. We met in the very early 2000's during the Junior World Titles, and have reconnected over the years through our work and common love of the water.
I post it here now as some sort reflection point. The theme that year was #prayerforprogress and I ponder what has changed eight years on?
.....
She will give you everything and ask for nothing.
She will feed your soul, push you to your limits, humble and inspire you.
She will simultaneously wash the day off, and make it a day worth living.
She will be both dance partner, and platform for you to meet and grow to love, your own particular beat.
She will give you lessons in breath, which will carry you through the sorrow of heart breaks, and the joy of birthing.
What will you give her? Your Mother?
What will you give her? Our Ocean?
#prayerforprogress
....
Due to a lack of surfing mums in the media, contrary to my suspicions prior to having children, I didn’t fall off the side of the earth once I birthed my first child, or even the second. Although right now, as my father just put it, it’s like i’m hanging on by my nails to the blackboard of surfing, painfully letting my family know I would like to go surfing, so won’t someone please look after my children.
Maybe it seems like women fall off the side of the earth because they’re now so busy multi tasking they don’t have time for the corporations lining up wanting to use their image in the latest campaign*. For instance as I write this, I am also yelling at my husband to get off just another online vehicle auction, and get our 2 year old daughter, who is way past her bedtime, naked, and playing a ukulele outside the window of our sleeping newborn.
I tried to share a story that was clean with a clear message, and it wasn’t working, and I think the point my juno** was trying to make, is embrace the messy, because this change thing is really not easy. I thought about International Women's Day and I thought about the two suns in my life, surfing and family. My Dad gave me the gift of surfing, and my husband was my biggest support in childbirth. And so in my mind, I think this rising needs to happen together - you know, with the males. Yet in reality, my Dad in one breath will be my biggest support, and in another say “there’s too many vaginas in the lineup.” Taglines are nice, but I sometimes i feel #pressforprogress is more #bangingmyheadagainstabrickwall
Which is what I have been doing for two years. Not every day, but most days, because that’s how change happens. Spurred on by the birth of our daughter and asking ourselves what sort of world we are contributing to for our kids, two years ago my husband and I committed to a vision. Now, after blood sweat and tears, and lots of them, we are 11 working days away from stepping into our new life. Away from the 60 hour working week, and onto the whanau whenua (family land), our newly built small house, and eco bed and breakfast. It’s not everyone's answer, but it’s the one that feels right for us.
It’s planting trees - for us, for birds, for bees, for shade, for shelter, and for pure enjoyment.
We’re growing food to get those kai (food) kilometers down.
We’re wanting to generate our own energy, and closing those loops to be as efficient as possible.
We’re both there when our kids wake up, go to sleep, and for as much in between as possible.
We’re trying to regenerate, because the world needs more than just to sustain.
We’re going surfing because everybody needs to have fun and rejoice!
So what’s the moral of my ramblings… if making change requires you live 6 hours drive away from your husband for four months, in a 40ft container with a toddler while quite pregnant, with toilet and shower at the neighbours, down a steep hill, that the 2 year old requires being carried down and up, and at various speeds, depending on the level of “busting” - you can do it.. Just make sure it’s nestled above one of the worlds longest left handers. You’re going to need that sweet salt salvation. #bangyourheadagainstabrickwallf
* Emoji’s were never a big thing for me, but since being a mum, I really just can’t get past that crying laughing face. It pretty much sums up every situation in my life.
** Juno is the divine feminine spark we all have. The divine masculine spark is 'genius'. Also the name of our 3 week old baby girl.
